Loving your husband is not the popular message of today. But it is a message worth living. Loving your husband is not an easy commitment. But it is a commitment worth making.
Loving your husband is not always what you want to do. But it is always worth doing. Loving your husband is not your default. But it is possible to demonstrate God’s love to your husband by His power.
After 15 years of marriage, I continue to learn about loving my husband. I encourage you with nine ways to strengthen your marriage. Grow in love and grace and be blessed with a marriage that stands the test of time.
1. Walk alongside your husband
When you are young and in love, you think you can live on love. As you mature and difficulties arise, it is easy to walk apart. You think you need a workable plan to deal with the stresses in life. And you do, but don’t forget to live on love. Live your lives together. Plan together. Laugh together. Cry together. Walk alongside your husband and hold hands in life. Don’t stop getting to know your husband.
2. Work for peace
Life easily overwhelms. Bills need to be paid. Responsibilities need to be met. Things break down. Children grow up. Seasons change. You are not your husband’s enemy. Do everything you can do to work for and maintain peace. Economies and countries weaken in times of war. Peace brings stability and strength. Peace empowers you to help others who are weak.
3. Watch your tongue
The easiest way to wound our husbands is to tear into them with our tongues. Put a guard over the lips of your mouth. By holding your tongue when you only have biting words, you are winning the war for peace.
4. Weather the storms
Life battles come. Storms on the horizon will blow in. Be prepared. Stock up. Build a safe place. Know where you are secure. Determine where you need to reinforce. Get involved in a loving community that you trust. You have the potential to grow stronger in the storms if you have the supports to help you through them.
Believe that God is your refuge in storms and He is your Strength when you are weak. Continue in prayer with an attitude of gratitude in the hard times. In hope, believe when all is hopeless.
5. Win him over with affection
Shower him with affection. Even when you have to convince yourself to rub his back, greet him with a kiss, smile across the table and the children’s messy table manners, or hold him when you are weary of little hands clambering over every inch of your body. Keep his heart tender by caressing him with your warm and devoted expression of love.
6. Weave grace into your days
Your husband is not perfect. Neither are you. There are days that you don’t even like your husband. There are things that he does that drive you crazy. There are dreams that have no place in your marriage. Strong marriages are built on a foundation of love and framed with grace.
Healthy marriages don’t just happen, they need to grow with grace upon grace in the good times and bad times, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, ’till death separates.
7. Wonder at the Union
The oneness between a husband and wife is a union that should leave you in awe. It speaks of the union between Christ and His bride. That He would give us such a beautiful picture to live out is a humble joy. Be enraptured with your husband. Wonder at the special oneness. Marvel that you can be intimate and make love beautiful in this broken world.
8. Write Words of Encouragement
When you have guarded your tongue from words that tear down, be generous with words that will build your husband up in courage. Look for the little things he does if you struggle to find anything good. Honor and respect him with your words when you are alone, when your children are watching, and when you are in public. Write words of encouragement on his heart.
9. One of the most precious ways to grow together is to live your lives for God’s glory together. Serve the Lord together. Go to church together. Pray together. Sing together. Stir one another on to good deeds. Trust together. Weep together.
Do what you have been created to do—to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength—together and praise God that He will grow you in grace and in His mercy will hold you both in the palm of His hand.